in other words
i have a
BIG sign of relief on my forehead.
finally,
NOVEMBER is OVER. officially.
november has been
THE MONTH out of the 6 that i've been lazing about and deciding where my life should take me. and i'm finally at peace; not that i have decided on things that i wanted, but for other's sake and for me to trust myself to believe that whatever i've done is right.
i feel that i'm being thrown about left and right, up and down acccording to people's wishes and their feelings. i mean, what about mine? did you ever consider what i was feeling and how much i went through about a month ago? you think you can just come into my life, and in one second, and expect me to receive you back in
WIDE, OPEN arms saying, "i forgive you, come back into my life?"
things don't just work like that anymore.and you, one minute you're saying A, and the next, B, and then back you say A again. and
EVERY SINGLE TIME you side either, you go against everything good you said about the other. and
FINALLY WHEN YOU ASK ME what i WANT,
what i WISH, and i tell you but i said that i'll adjust to the circumstances, you blow in front of me and saying im self-centered when i truly told you what i wanted.
yes, right now i have a lot of anger in me.
i guess i still don't have that peace. sigh,
wishful thinking.and won't have it, for a very long time to come.
i guess it never ends.
i just wanna scream into my pillow until i lose my voice.
(4:06 PM)