.+the baby blues

decisions-

2008-07-03T23:10:00.002+10:00

the hols are finally here, and i've been plain exhausted. ive been going out almost every single day, and i think what i need is to stay at home and sleep, watch tons of tv, and go to the sauna! :) *squeals*
so, i have until the 28th to bumm and before i know it, after only having 1 week of hols, im feeling the pressure of friends studying for law already! *dies*

secondly, im contemplating whether i should relax for the next 3 weeks or should i first work in a law associates office, and then for the 3rd week work in a property firm. i guess it'd be good for me but all i can think of right now is, "CAN YOU GIVE ME A LONGER BREATHER? MY BRAIN NEEDS A BREAK"

thirdly, the greatest issue right now is bugging me at the back of my head EVERY SINGLE DAY. do i like law? do i want to actually do it for the rest of my life? in fact, can i actually take the next 5 years of law and cases? i know i should OPEN MY MIND and broaden my perspectives, and not push it away immediately, but i currently find it a duty and a toll to take every single day during 1st semester. *head spins* H.E.L.P.

i just really need God's presence to make another bigger decision for me. i know he knows what's best for me; he knows me better than i know myself. my indecisiveness is taking over that i can no longer control it. i really need to lay it in His hands to guide me and his answer means everything to me right now. i hope my prayers can be answered before the 28th.

yay for me :)

2008-06-25T21:17:00.003+10:00

one more day..
and the semester exams are over!
and finally i'll be finished. when everyone's finished their exams ages ago.
and while everyone is heading home for mamak and cheap food...
i'll be bumming around, putting on more saturated fats and lipids.
i've already put on 6 kg SINCE FEBRUARY.
that's a world record!
:(

still. very. upset. about. it.
but anyways, gotta get back to calculus!
till then :)

feeling closer to home-

2008-05-31T18:31:00.004+10:00

this blog is practically dead to me.
i actually forgot that i had one..
and i had no idea tht people still read it! sorry guys :(

but yes! i will update.. i think i havent updated since i started uni. :) but i will soon..
and now is def. not a good time with my semester exams coming up in 2 weeks time and 40% assignment due in 4 days of which i have NOT started. *dies*

but anyways.. ill just zoom to today! i met up with kimmie in sydney! and omg girl u lost so much weight and you look fabulous now :)

and speaking about how we went to bondi and ate lunch around the corner.. and instead of paying 30 bucks for our lunch, we got away and paid 19 bucks instead..

but yes.. i made her suffer and we walked around the whole 2 big tall blocks of westfield in bondi junction.. and after that we took a bus and RANDOMLY got off and went to the flea market we saw on the side of the road in oxford street.. of which we practically WALKED all the way to the city.. i think that was like about 2 km? sorry kim! :) but now ull have muscular calves by the time u get back to kl :)

and yes, we insisted in taking photos but OF ALL PLACES under the bright warm sun today, we ended up taking it at night in baskin robbins in pitt street ._.

loveuuu kim*!! <3

2008-03-01T22:19:00.002+11:00

happy

mardi

gras

people!

1st March 2008

will upload pics soon!

food haven

2008-02-29T17:26:00.011+11:00

so, it's official. i've put on 3 kg in 2 weeks from all these food that ive been eating everyday. no wonder everyone puts on weight when they go overseas. but i still miss kuching kolo mee though :( ive really gotta cut down on my eating.

vietnamese food:

vietnamese pho at bankstown (raw beef with noodles)

prawns and spring onion spring rolls

broken rice with pork, vermicelli salad and crab omelette

western:

a small, comfy pasta restaurant; full everyday and there's no booking or reservations allowed. and all must be present before you can take a seat.

rocket salad

proscuito ham with cheddar cheese & rocket

tomato brushetta

linguine with mussels

duck ragu

spaghetti bolognese

beef lasagna

creme caramel

the famous and most expensive breakfast, bills:

blueberry muffin

traditional bacon and eggs and orange juice

this is the famous harry's hotdog stall near the street. stars like adrian grenier and nicole kidman have been there. many others too, but i forgot :)

hot dog de wheels

tiger pie (mash potatoes, mushroom pie, mashed peas and gravy)

the famous sydney fish market:
the seafood rich in abundance

5* guilaumme restaurant in sydney opera house, circular quay:

the appetizers:

oyster bar

smoked salmon with caviar

sashimi platter

proscuito ham

main course:

chicken with mushroom & asparagus

octopus risotto

steak with mushrooms

today's officially the last day of summer! it hasn't really been summer with the 4 days of continuous thunderstorms and chilly winds. i can't even walk across the road with the strong wind tunnels and everyone's umbrellas are turning inside out. so i really don't see the point of carrying the umbrella cos in the end, cos you can't seem to walk forward, and you end up getting wet while you try to turn your umbrella back the right way round.

anyways, tomorrow is the celebration of the 30th anniversary of mardi gras! and in 2 days would be my first week of hectic course from 9-5 everyday, and on tuesday i have to travel to two campuses at 3 to travel down to the city sydney law school, and ill be done at 6 pm. :( ergh. im not looking forward to it.

anyways, have a great weekend people!

the real intro-welcome :)

2008-02-28T23:10:00.009+11:00

sorry guys for the late, slow, pictureless updates that i've been giving u since i came down to sydney. its been 1 month 7 days since i got here and im so sorry i havent even posted up a thing!

okay, ive taken 976 photos since i was here, so this time im gonna give you a piece of sydney!

ill just leave the photos to do the talking this time. enjoy!
p.s. there will be an overload of photos.

by day:

(the view from my apartment) see the lil white thing there in the centre in the first pic? tht's sydney opera house! and below it's sydney city :)

central city: town hall and QVB

the priceless view of sydney opera house

sydney harbour bridge with chris looking all emo-ed.

view of the city from the northern suburbs

the eastern suburbs

... and how can i forget bondi beach! pretty small surprisingly. the sand melts between your feet btw.

by night:

sydney opera house and sydney harbour bridge

city by night

'australian day' in the city

circular quay

i'll post up food the next round :) cheers

i have an IDIOT sign slapped across my forehead-

2008-02-12T15:30:00.000+11:00

something happened today.
and yes, im gonna make sure it doesnt happen to me again.
i guess ive been pretty lucky the first few times but this time God decided to punish me cos of my carelessness and ignorance.

my apartment door has an auto lock device thing, so once the door slams shut from the outside, you cant get in unless you have a key. so, yes, obvious enough, i got locked out of my apartment.

and, not only do i not have my handphone with me, but i dont have any money (except a miserable dollar in my pocket which cant even buy a bottle of water), no phone contacts that i memorised, and no apartment or spare key.

don't even think about how i got myself locked out of my own apartment. and yes, i tried to see if the concierge had a spare key (which i was *so* confident tht they did, just like most hotel rooms do), but they didn't.

and the time i got locked out was 1 pm. so i have to wait 4 SUPER LONG HOURS till chris gets home, and the thing is i cant even call him or leave him a message cos i dont have money to make a call, or a handphone, and WORSE STILL, i don have his hp number.

and the worst part is, i was wearing these huge soft furry slippers that were a size of UK 11. -.- and i honestly thought i could take a stroll around the city penniless (still not so bad rather than sitting outside the apartment door like a stalker).

and i havent even had breakfast. nor lunch. and a dollar in my pocket. HOW LAH.

in the end thank God my father's friend was with me (which is how i got locked out in the first place), so she gave me 20 dollars to surf the net and wait for chris to get home and also get a bite to eat.

that didnt really excite me cos going out in furry slippers made me bring a huge load of unwanted attention from others. even now. so now im here, typing away and waiting for my lil brother to get back.

i left him a note btw, asking him to get me. God, please don't let some guy walk past the apartment and read it or take it and throw it away. :( and im thinking to myself, "how am i gonna take care of my lil brother?!" :( and its raining outside- heavily. i wanna go home!

and i have so much stuff to do back at the apartment. and im tired now. and, and, i had a short revelation of wanting to have superpowers to climb or fly up to the tenth floor and climb in through my window.

chris, PLEASE please don't come back at 6. please.

ive learnt a BIG FAT lesson. and a conclusion that i'm a real dumbo.
my dad's gonna kill me when he finds out. cos he reminded me once about the door. and i just made that mistake he asked me to avoid, a million times.

not a great thing to remember during ure first few weeks in sydney.

life's just too short.

2008-02-06T20:35:00.000+11:00

oops. and i forgot.
happy cny everybody!
this is my first year that i'm not back at home. =( and there's not a single celebration here in sydney. but all the casinos are filled with chinese- i guess the gambling frenzy in them just can't run away.

i miss all the kuih already! ergh. dad, buy me a ticket to go back to kuching please? :)

bugger

2008-02-05T10:25:00.000+11:00

okay, this was seriously not what i expected to write on my first post in sydney.

im so sorry guys tht i havent been updating.
i dont have broadband right now.. ill prolly have it in the middle of the month, and if im unlucky, ill only get it by march so ill post up pics then!

anyways, sydney is a beauutiful city. no doubt about it. adjusting here atm.. the weather is sunny on some days and the breeze is just so cool but for the past few days its been raining like mad.

i just moved into my apartment! pretty run down and very dull and been cleaning up the place scrubbing off mouldy areas full of FUNGUS everywhere! the cleaners are really not doing their job. so my dad painted the house to make it brighter. :)

sorry if some of u can read this blog, like joey! i dono how to operate this blogger thing. im def. not an expert on it, so yeah, i hope u can read it soon!

ok i only have 5 mins left. so, im gonna log off now. will post up more later! xxx

the day this girl turned 19

2008-01-19T00:58:00.000+11:00

jan 15th.

i feel old.

anyways, meet the new members of the family in sg!
milo and angel; 3 months old; shitzus.

they're just SO adorable

anyways, sorry for the late updates.
im even rushing through this blog.

so, atm am busy packing for aussie.
tomorrow would be my last day, and going off on sunday night 8 pm transit through kl.
will be arriving in sydney at 8 in the morning, so will update from there!
im already missing the food and friends. missuguys.

xoxo

-a new beginning-

2008-01-01T18:54:00.000+11:00

happy new year everybody!

2008 is a new clean year for all of us to start afresh and to be better than ourselves than last year :)

and my new year resolutions are:
-to be more optimistic in life
-don't have overestimations of myself
-be happy for who i am and for the abilities that i can achieve

last night was a blast; really awesome, thanks to those who were there last night.
padde and delwin were drunk so by had to do all the babysitting while i had to drive all of them home.

there are too many pics so here are some of them-

by ill miss u dear! hope to see u hopefully end of this yr or the next if i ever do again :)
meanwhile, have a blast at HELP!

however the aftermath of it all wasnt pretty. had painful knee joints the whole night, and my tummy didn't feel good. and today im suffering from a hungover- dizzy, headache and really, i need to go back to sleep.

sorry if im talking nonsense.
ill feel much better tmr- till then.

everything has to come to an end-

2007-12-30T19:48:00.000+11:00

it's theng's last day before she heads off to penang!
and i won't know when we'll see her again.. maybe in 3-5 years?

so while we were counting down the days to her departure, we've been having huge feasts back at my dad's place 3 times in a row.

the first day, we barbequeued and made all-american home-made beef burgers- and they absolutely melt in your mouth.

beef + egg+ mozarella cheese + onions, pickles and mushrooms

that was mine! *drool*
... my mouth is even watering right now

and these... home deep-fried american potato chips are the best ive ever tasted. crunchy on the outside, soft and moist and SWEET on the inside.

and on the second day we had fusion!

sweet and sour ikan kurau with capsicums, pineapples and mushrooms

followed by lamb ganoush (i'm not sure if that's how you spell it)

and on the last day we had baked chicken thigh with fries:

my dad was experimenting and barbequing char-siew:

my dad's home-made kolo mee :)
it's SOOO good-

theng, you know everyone will miss you!
that includes me!

everyone back home- shaun, chris and i will miss u to bits. there's no doubt about that.
at the mean time, keep in touch with us and have a safe flight back! *pout*
love u dear :)ve*

2007-12-29T01:00:00.000+11:00

having tummy cramps gives you a well-rested day.
who agrees? *hands up*

tell someone about cervical cancer

2007-12-26T15:10:00.000+11:00

"Nearly 800 women per day worldwide will die from cervical cancer, estimated in 2006"

"The WHO estimated that 630 million people had genital HPV in 2001"

for more info, go to http://tellsomeone.com.my

i just got my shot today. get yours.

tra-la-la

2007-12-25T16:07:00.000+11:00

merry xmas everyone!

*god bless*

night rendezvous

2007-12-24T18:36:00.000+11:00

13.12.2007

1 more day!

2007-12-22T01:50:00.000+11:00

the christmas spirit is here!
merry christmas eve everybody :)

it's the time of the year to stuff ourselves with caramelised chocolate sweets, melting belgian chocolates and gorgeous christmas fruit puddings. 'tis the season to cook turkey, pasta and cakes!

ok, updates updates!

i ended up being a chauffeur in singapore that i couldn't do any christmas shopping.. my mum got a car there so i ended up driving everyone around! but it was fun =) learned all the roads already! yay.

the shopping vibe is amazing. PACKED and i constantly feel this adrenaline rush to buy things but i tell myself to think 3 TIMES before snatching something off the rack and taking it to the counter.

and we celebrated theng's birthday on the 16th at morton's steakhouse.

chocolate cake filled with hot chocolate lava in the centre, accompanied by haagen daaz vanilla ice cream.

time flies by so FAST!! 6 months gone in a flash and i can't get enough of it. I WANT MORE!
and my gosh, i don't wanna start uni.. =( esp. when im caught at a dead end. so it's all FINALLY confirmed. i'm off to university of sydney on 20th of jan 08.

alright, have a fantastic christmas everybody!

where the bird flocks home-

2007-12-12T04:12:00.000+11:00

darling theng is back!

ever since then, we have been having HUGE dinner feasts.

and we're off to singapore on friday!
its gonna be a busy busy month.
and everyone's coming back home!

in other news, i realise that im driving a lil too fast on old man's road in kuching that i'm almost crashing into them more than average in a day. i better stop..

and i rebonded my hair 3 days ago that when i washed it, it went back to being curly... $%&*#!?
i had to go back and do it again today, for free of course, but al my hair became dry and spoilt after that that i had to cut off another 3 inches. and NOW IT'S SOOOO SHORT!

something i wasn't expecting after waiting for my hair to grow for 2 years.

=*(

i wish* superman could save me

2007-12-09T18:19:00.000+11:00

today, of all days, i have officially gotten into my first car accident.
no, not with another car, thank god.

but with a curb. -.-

i was trying to avoid this huge van on my left in a small squeezy alley in front of riverside hotel which was practically SWARMED with hundreds of people, that i turned too much to the right that i hit the curb and there was this loud swish of air for about 5 seconds.

i thought, "uh-oh. *pause* nevermind. im okay, i seem to be moving. nothing's wrong..."
chris: "ey phoebe, your type pancet lah-"
me: "har? no lah. *pause AGAIN* isit? O.O *gasp* oh no-"

and i was still so lost... until i saw that the tons of people who were walking by stopped and jaw-dropped right in front of me and back, pointing at this small lil' car with me in it.

i was so humiliated... as well as my poor cousin and brother who had to drag along and take in the humiliation as much as me.

"HAIYA, never see tayar pancet before is it? go away =$"

WAIT. the humiliation didn't stop there. what's worse still was that i had to park my car right in front of the hotel like some person advertising on how to changed pancet tyres during an emergency crisis. the only difference was, i didn't know how to change the tyres. EVEN after flipping through the car manual repeatedly. i was *so* lost. so i had to get the staff security to do it for me with the aid of my friend.

sigh. 9.12.07 will always be a memorable day.
and i think i'll really die in isolation if i was in the middle of a desert.
i'm never going back there. =*( PERIOD.

in other words

2007-12-02T16:06:00.000+11:00

i have a BIG sign of relief on my forehead.
finally, NOVEMBER is OVER. officially.

november has been THE MONTH out of the 6 that i've been lazing about and deciding where my life should take me. and i'm finally at peace; not that i have decided on things that i wanted, but for other's sake and for me to trust myself to believe that whatever i've done is right.

i feel that i'm being thrown about left and right, up and down acccording to people's wishes and their feelings. i mean, what about mine? did you ever consider what i was feeling and how much i went through about a month ago? you think you can just come into my life, and in one second, and expect me to receive you back in WIDE, OPEN arms saying, "i forgive you, come back into my life?"

things don't just work like that anymore.

and you, one minute you're saying A, and the next, B, and then back you say A again. and EVERY SINGLE TIME you side either, you go against everything good you said about the other. and FINALLY WHEN YOU ASK ME what i WANT, what i WISH, and i tell you but i said that i'll adjust to the circumstances, you blow in front of me and saying im self-centered when i truly told you what i wanted.

yes, right now i have a lot of anger in me.
i guess i still don't have that peace. sigh, wishful thinking.
and won't have it, for a very long time to come.

i guess it never ends.
i just wanna scream into my pillow until i lose my voice.

-walk on water* & spread your heart of gold-

2007-12-01T01:26:00.000+11:00

to my dear josh,
my best friend, my brother, my squirrel, squidy and yoshie.
ill miss you more than words can say-

we've been friends since we were 13,
and we were unstoppable from then
and when time caught up with us
years have gone by with a blink of an eye
and it's finally time to spread your wings,
live life to the full, and accomplish your lifelong dreams.

may you touch the world with your loving spirit
may you spread your love with your infectious smile
may you touch people's minds with your warm heart
and may you carry God's heart and message for you everywhere and anywhere He takes you.
and lastly, don't forget me- the old grannie back in this small lil town called kuching.

you know you gotta come back and take care of me someday ;)

love you tons.
have a safe journey to korea-

xxx

lots of love,

pee pee.

stay, please stay*

2007-11-29T15:15:00.000+11:00

*wide smile*
i feel that my confidence levels are way above normal than they used to be today.

the reason being, i managed to successfully sit through the whole 2 hours of maths tuition yesterday and this morning! without sleeping, that is. but i was constantly yawning. and better yet, i actually wasn't lost in the process learning calculus! :) yay*

HOWEVER,

in such a short period of time (yesterday) i realised we have to sell of our cars since we're not gonna be in kuching over the next few years.

so my darling baby hyundai is going to be sold off to another owner's hands today which is making me awfully sad!

i don't wanna let her go, because i'm ESPECIALLY attached to the number plate, which took a long time to find.

hmmph. and i keep thinking to myself, "i only managed to keep her for 2 years!" and i only managed to FULLY use it for 6 months cos of the time being in kl. and she treated me well :)

SIGH.

i guess that's life.

there is no end-

2007-11-28T02:03:00.000+11:00

i'm falling in love with scones...
mmm. crispy on the inside, soft and moist on the inside. *squeals*

and also in christmas day to come. im in such a 'christmassie' mood right now after admiring all the lights along orchard rd in sg for the past two days. sigh.

now how i wish i can have a tub of yoghurt ice cream with me now

-love or hate-

2007-11-24T02:08:00.000+11:00

london? or sydney?
imperial college? or uni. of sydney?

(*lightbulb*)

i know! i'm going to university of sydon!! :)

-not everyone ends up with a happy ending-

2007-11-17T22:21:00.000+11:00

for the past few days i've gone through emotional turmoil, rollercoaster lopsided arguments,
disruptive confrontations and blowing our heads off for god-know-what is so complicated on our family personal matters which is actually so plain simple that is making me feel like i could just move out and get away from everything.

i can't take it anymore. and its definitely a chapter in my life i'll never forget.
screw it.

-another sunny glow-

2007-11-16T03:22:00.000+11:00

my new baby!

i love you mummy!

thanks so much :)

im so glad you're back home, safe.

.+*fly me to the moon-

2007-11-15T01:31:00.000+11:00

-"never settle for second best"
BUTS. WHYS. BUT. WHAT ABOUT. SO HOW. SIGHS. ERGHS.

im tired.
im always tired. 2 days ago. yesterday. today. now.

constantly standing on a fine line on the verge of making decisions that will determine my future and i STILL cannot decide; both that will TOTALLY lead me to different lives. and just when i realise that ive made my decision, *sigh* im not gonna start again.

i need a break. from all of this.
NOW.
or im going to break.

-be my salvation-

2007-11-05T01:18:00.000+11:00

this is just a head's up.

:: sometimes all you need is a crisis to make your way back into the arms of the Lord::

for all of you who have lost your hope and believe in God.
he'll always be there to forgive, and to bring you back to heaven.

-feebs.-

-etre a l'avenir-

2007-11-05T00:18:00.000+11:00

after coming back from siam reap for god-knows-how-long, i finally discussed the trip with my parents yesterday cos of their oh-so busy schedule for the week.

rather than ranting about the million temples i visited, i told them about the fortune teller that i went to see while i was there. i was practically pulling my guts together, taking a deep breath that holds more than my belly can, and walked into the room where my future laid before my eyes.

after 40 minutes i was pretty amused and yet shocked at the same time for them being so accurate about what they mentioned about my past and present situation.

in the near FUTURE

(1) i'm destined to meet my guy at 27...

... and i'll marry him at 32

(so OLD! i was targeting 26-28)

(2) by 32 i'll earn my 1st million

(3) i may meet a guy between 22-25 and marry,

but will most likely end up having a divorce

(4) ill have 3 kids!! so much for me not wanting 3 kids cos of the middle child syndrome that most of my friends are experiencing being the middle child.

sounds too good to be true?

other than that she mentioned about my personality, family background and other personal depths of my life, and it was all SO accurate!

but all in all, it's God that will be the only one tell my future.
and that's a promising fact! *wink*

-in between-

2007-11-03T17:35:00.000+11:00

You're not sure that you love me

But you're not sure enough to let me go

Baby it ain't fair you know

To just keep me hangin' 'round

You say you don't wanna hurt me

Don't wanna see my tears

So why are you still standing here

Just watching me drown

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine

Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine

Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say

You're gonna break my heart anyway

So just leave the pieces when you go

Now you can drag out the heartache

Baby you can make it quick

Really get it over with

And just let me move on

Don't concern yourself

With this mess you've left for me

I can clean it up, you see

Just as long as you're gone

You not making up your mind

Is killing me and wasting time

I need so much more than that

So just leave the pieces when you go

-*the wreckers*-

-*leave the pieces*-

-how being bored can stir you to do lame things-

2007-11-03T15:21:00.001+11:00

emily: "some people are just TOO free"

me: "i KNOW." *smiles*

hmmm...

2007-11-02T19:09:00.000+11:00

im getting kinda tired of blogging already. only after 3 months!
either because there's nothing much that's been going around in my life lately.
or i don't have the kicking interest to blog.
i think im getting too lazy.
being a lazy couch potato.
shit.
i need to do some exercise.

cambodia was s-w-e-e-t*

2007-10-30T14:05:00.000+11:00

i'm back!!
i had an amazing and awesome getaway. it was the perfect dose for getting away from civilisation (okay, maybe TOPP will be just as good. *wink*), but i was constantly waking up early in the morning, climbing temples and snapping away 1000s of photos everywhere i went.

the first day started off pretty hilarious. the trip from sg to siam reap takes only abt 2 hrs and 10 mins. however, we ended up at siam reap travelling for 5 hours, stopping by vietnam and without even realizing, we got down and ALMOST missed the flight to siam reap. by the time we arrived it was about 7, so we were exhausted till the next day.

pictures speak louder than words, so... here goes!

we watched the sunrise at 6 in the morning while climbing up to the foothill of a mountain at 5.30 am.

then we headed off to see angkor wat!

next, we went to see the Bayon temple, Angkor Thom which has a total of more than 500 different faces with different expressions. but they all look the same to me though.

...then we headed off to Ta Phrohm.

and on the last day, we went to the Pink Temple which were apparently built by women.

will post up more photos later :)

this will be one of the 100 destinations that you have to go before you die. seriously.

toodles!

2007-10-21T21:28:00.000+10:00

i'm off for a holiday getaway for the last time this year-
to cambodia on tuesday!
well, technically it's wednesday but dropping by sg first.

so, will be back monday!
till then =)

-ergh.

2007-10-16T16:23:00.000+10:00

FINALLY.

i'm done with my portfolio.

AND, just when i thought i finish the bulk of what i have to do, they're more and more things to do. i can't even sit down and watch tv series anymore :(

-dear *CHRISSIE,

2007-10-15T17:41:00.000+10:00

happy happy happy 16th birthday darling!

now you're 16 and all, ive predicted ure new resolutions for the next year:
-to grow taller-
-to grow out of pimple breakouts-
-to grow longer hair and finally being able to dye it-

but there's one advice for u: start wearing contacts from december.
i always thought u looked better without.
well, it's not like u'll listen to me anyways.
-love u to bits*-

because im taking up intensive add maths tuition soon in abt 2 weeks time, i went to find out on the course details for maths in the first year in usyd. and, i seriously thought i was looking at alienated words. i don't understand a thing. im so lost. and will be so dead nxt yr.

and i felt better when i found out i got another offer- to unsw! :)
but when i looked at their course codefor maths, it was the same -.-

i guess sometimes we can't always run away from things.

-time, time, time*-

2007-10-13T19:42:00.000+10:00

There's a reason why they say that we should give it time

But time is not enough

And that's the reason why

When you're young you fall in love

Maybe we're trying

Trying too hard

Maybe we're torn apart

Maybe the timing

Is beating our hearts

We're empty

Could it be

That nothings gonna change

Time has got a way of taking back

Everything you thought you had

Can you see

The girl you used to be

The one I lost

when I let go of you

-family matters*-

2007-10-12T22:24:00.000+10:00

i. am. dead. tired.
and all i want to do is sleeeeep.

after going out and runnning errands + sweeping and mopping floor + watering the plants + feeding the fish + cooking dinner + laundry + washing dishes all in about 4.5 hours straight, that's enough to kill me and drop dead to the floor.

my back hurts. my eyes hurt after HOT splashes of oil went into my eyes.
and my hands are all wrinkly, dry and wriggly after all the washing.

and at the same time of all of this, im pacing against time to finish my portfolio.
and in the family side of things, im really starting to get annoyed being the eldest in the family.

not only do you have to do all the chores that's being pushed into your hands, but you get stuck in the middle of family arguments in which you were never in the picture in the first place. then, when you give them your opinion on both sides, u get the smack right in the face that it's ure fault.

im getting migraine attacks again.

*migraine migraine go away,
come back another day.*

i wish i can be a lil' girl again.

-feebs*

-im on cloud nine*-

2007-10-10T18:01:00.000+10:00

I GOT THE OFFER INTO
UNIVERSITY OF SYDNEY!
for the Bachelor of Medical Science.
i guess my luck got turned around, huh?
thank you joey! u are of the greatest help that i can ever get.
thanks so SO SO much for the PUSHING and constant bugging on usyd's door :)

and lastly, thank you Lord for giving me the patience and the faith that you've prepared for me, knowing that i have a promising and secure future ahead of me to hold on to.

i'm so overwhelmed now.
finally im at peace.
there's no turning back now.

-bugger*-

2007-10-10T00:02:00.002+10:00

i feel like the most unlucky girl on the planet.
i went over to idp again today to apply for my brother as well as for me accepting the offer for monash u. cos the deadline for the scholarship offer is next monday.
so anyways, i realised i cant wait any longer for sydney u. anymore.
so i went to idp and asked joey (the rep) and had a tiny itty bit in me that she'll tell me that she FINALLY has a reply from sydney.

she ended up telling me:
joey: do you know.. i am SO SICK of uni. of sydney ppl.
me: ... O.O why?
joey: i called them up todady and for the 5th time they told me they havent got any transcripts yet. so i asked them to check their mail and they finally got it. then they told me that i havent certified together with my name and date. but i already did!
me: (not again...) so how?
joey: so i sent them again through email, FAX and MAIL. now they cannot make any excuses anymore.
me: :)
joey: apparently, you're the chosen unlucky applicant for 2008 who only seems to have problems with the certificates and transcripts. my other students applying there dont seem to have a problem.
me: (*sigh. ok. that doesn't help. at all.)

at least i still have sth to keep my mind off things.
apparently my golden nicole is on HEAT!
she's the only female among the 4 other rottweiler dogs in the house.
and so apparently, she wont allow any of them mate her.
and with her being the only girl, not only is she the princess of the house, but she thinks her way of mating others is by jumping on the backside of the others.

so, tmr we're gonna bring her over to my mum's friend's place house for a month who also has a golden retriever male. and hopefully after a month she'll be pregnant and have golden babies! =D i hope that by then, things are on the other way round and nicole realises her job is to just keep still instead of doing all the 'exercise'. =)

-feebs*

-quality time with family-

2007-10-08T13:51:00.000+10:00

the past few days have been very eventful :)
gerald came down to kuching on thursday! and went back last night.. we're already missing u!*

so, we've been corner shop hopping in india street, to eating in different places every other hour, to home hopping and back.

chris quotes: he's so cute! like a teddy bear :)

i HATE my eyebags. double layer somemore =(
love u daddie* =)

since then, i've been eating constantly until 1 in the morning where we'll head off to carpenter street and eat the famous local porridge in town :)

AND, last night i went to meet my adorable cousins at their place and in their pjs, we had another big feast.

see what i mean??

and they're so imaginative! they even created their own dessert!

well, not edible of course.

they used their father's shaving cream for the white foam and the yellow bit at the bottom is washing up liquid. okay, maybe it won't taste that great, but see where they get those ideas from??

and after that they said, "okok go to the bathroom now!! we have to clean up otherwise daddy will scold for using his shaving cream!" =D

gerald, with all these food, i hope it's tempting enough to lure you back to kuching :)

come back more often, k? only now do you realise that many ppl in kch need u.
esp. the ones in the CHOO family.

okay, time to bathe the dogs.

-feebs*

heart beats 2wice the normal rate*

2007-09-30T17:03:00.000+10:00

i'm having love fever for josh duhamel.

i guess it's cos of the constant shows of him in las vegas that im watching every nite..
but seriously, he is a drooling-over-hottie.
right sammie? =)*

the best part is that he's SO TALL; notice he's always taller than the rest on the set.
and has such a breath-taking sexy smile *gasp*

-tO pOokie*-

2007-09-29T00:09:00.000+10:00

there's so much to say but there are so few words.
so i'll keep it short and simple.

dear POOKIE,
sometimes it's hard to say goodbye
but i know i'll see you again
it may be 2 months, 2 years, 2 decades.
but you and i know it
that we'll definitely see it through.

may you change the world
and spread your infectious love.
may you carry a bigger heart home
with brand new ambitious plans and resolutions

and lastly may you keep holding on to hope and faith,
to guide you through your worries
and on rainy days.

and lastly,
i wanna let you know that they're people around you that loves you.
and one of them's me! :)

have a safe flight*
muah*

-feebs*-

*pasta made my day-

2007-09-26T22:00:00.000+10:00

with bad cramps and a hot bottle of water held to your stomach all day wile you lie in bed curled up trying to sleep is not the day i wanted to begin with. but it did. and i had to be a driver ALL DAY.

and to satisfy the family's tastebuds i made them spaghetti for dinner, the only decent dish i can only seem to make since i was born. and this time, i followed jamie oliver's recipe and it's the best pasta i've ever made. ever.

and after that i felt my cramps got better. psychologically.
it's amazing how pasta does wonders to your tummy.

-feebs*-

-the moon is full*-

2007-09-25T14:47:00.000+10:00

happy mooncake festival people!

*our mooncake moments*

-homemade mooncakes

-with family-

we love u grandma :)

p.s. sammie i miss ur mum's home-made mooncakes! *hmmph* =(
and i rmbr tht last yr was the first time i actually tried mooncakes. i've been missing out!

-feebs*

-singapore AGAIN*-

2007-09-24T17:37:00.000+10:00

sorry for the late updates- i just got back from sg again after following my mum to do her lasik eye surgery and everything turned out well- she now has perfect vision and doesn't have to wear short nor long sighted glasses anymore :)

btw, about my results from the uni. of adelaide, ... i didn't get it.. *sigh* a bit upsetting but i guess it's a blessing in disguise to go somewhere else.

so, the next day we went scouting high and low to the universities in sg- NUS, NTU, SMU and SIM with the help of my F.B.I (you know who you are) looking around for dentistry courses just to keep my options open, and found out that they start in august, so i just missed it. we considered doing other courses like architecture and hospitality management but with my lack of confidence, i decided to stick to the subjects where my interest lies and from there i can't go far wrong.

other than that, i looked forward to eating good food!

note: picture overload starts here:

f.b.i took me to this japanese restaurant in the Regent hotel that specialises in tempura prawns! :) it includes a specially recommended 7 meal course:

and then dessert:

it's sweet, soft and cold on the inside- seriously better than a good night's sleep ;)

other random pics:

and today a baby bird hatched in our mango tree! :) it's adorably cute, and yes, females have maternal instincts alrite ;)

and i also treated myself with a manicure!

i really miss someone atm.*anonymously in my head up and in there somewhere.

and also worried abt someone too-

and i know i can be pretty random.

okay, gonna hv to get ready for dinner tonite!

until the next post!

.+*feebs

.+*small eyes is back!

2007-09-24T13:31:00.000+10:00

when by came back for his hols he took me to his jap restaurant that i've been persuading him for ages since it just opened and finally did!

and it. was. really. good.

a bit pricey, but the portions are HUGE as compared to the pictures in the menu and the quality really lives up to its name.

p.s. by, i'm helping you to advertise here thus i'm priviledged for commission! =) haha*

- food time*

we ordered too much because we thought the portions were really small so in the end we didn't finish and were stuffed.

then we went for dinner the next night (by again, you're making me eat so much) and ate somemore but it was a disappointment so we went to bings! for desert:

so by, take me to your restaurant again when you come back, yea? :)
study hard and ace your exams!
stop hitting on girls so much *wink*

i love calling myself a doofus.

2007-09-23T13:38:00.000+10:00

im a doofus :b

btw if you don't know who i am, i'm feebs's brother.

-bleh-

2007-09-19T01:17:00.001+10:00

All applicants please note:
Due to technical difficulties, results of PQA testing and notification of Oral Assessments will be e-mailed to applicants late on Wednesday, September 19th 2007.
Apologies for any inconvenience this 24 hour delay may cause.

*grr*

-`i'm a nervous wreck!*-

2007-09-18T12:37:00.000+10:00

We finally did the bare skylight in our courtyard.
it took us around 2 full days to complete it.
our asses, necks and thighs hurt now…
but it was all worth it!

and today's the day of results.. *fingers crossed*
My fate’s all in God’s hands now.
*takes a deep breath*

i can't stop fidgeting.

-feebs*

the dalai lama-*

2007-09-15T16:06:00.001+10:00

GUYS, remember in psycho class when someone talked about the Dalai Lama?
and i said, "what's a Dalai Lama? isit a llama?"... and all of u laughed?

well today i asked my mum, "mum do u know wads a Dalai lama?"
her reply was, "dalai lama? u mean DILEMMA isit?"
then i said, "no, Dalai Lama la..."
then she replied, "i don't know.. a kind of flower?"
"-.-... hahaha"

see my mum's worse than me.. totally unrelated.
but maybe because at the moment she was playing with some flowers.

sigh sigh sigh*

2007-09-14T22:41:00.000+10:00

btw, sammie left today :(

and ems already left too.. and kim...

wait, i already said that before. and its only hitting me now :(

sammie, i really hope that you do not get to experience all of the above that u said in ure page today :) tell us how it goes when you're on the other side of the world, k?

and ems, i know ure suffering frm jet lag but hope that soon all will be okay :)

both of u bring lots of VASELINE, THICK JACKETS and MOISTURISER*

kimmiee! :) hehe update la! tell us wads going over there, k?

and for all of u, hope u guys get to settle in and will get the least homesick nausea possible =) ure loved ones are still here for u, and tht includes me!* loveloveloveuall

.+*what a day-

2007-09-14T21:45:00.000+10:00

Okay, this is HOW we make FULL use of our cars, especially in a kiam-siap city called Kuching.

i was driving and on the way home today when we saw the most silly and strange thing on the road as stopped by the traffic light. I quickly nudged and insisted my mum to take a photo while we were laughing our asses off and thinking that it was the most ridiculous thing we've ever seen.

I was wondering why the driver would do such a thing.. and it could be either the driver of the car:

wanted to attract other people's attention
thought his car was too small for the bag to fit
the food was too smelly to be put into his car
or simply was because he hates the food in the bag

i was squinting my eyes to see what was in the bag, hoping that prolly it was dog food or something that was unpleasant, but it was fresh LAKSA! hahaha :))

and btw, if u were probably thinking that the car was full of people with no space, there was lots of space in the kancil car. and the spur of the moment was that the motorcyclist in the current picture went neck to neck with the driver and was pointing to the bag hanging at the back.

as if the driver doesnt know that he hung the plastic bag of food on his back wiper.

the conclusion is, only kch people will do this sort of thing; to maximize functionality and space.

and later when i picked my brother up from tuition, we saw three dogs doing a threesome. 2 were already stuck together while a male dog was trying to get into the female's occupied backside.

as if the day couldn't get even more weird.

feebs*-

oh my....+.

2007-09-13T19:23:00.000+10:00

i had the most heart-stopping surgery ive ever seen in my life.. my eyes were practically nosing behind every surgeons' backs to see them operate.

i got to go to the operational theatre today and they were doing a major surgery on a 19 year old girl who got into a car accident and fractured her whole face that her nose bridge was broken and there was a deep hollow area in her forehead. sounds deep?

she was under the knife for 7 hours and i got to see them stitch her eyes together, cut open her scalp in half, cut out a bone tissue from her head using drills and scalpels, and sutured it into her nose and her hollow forehead using screws.

her front face looked like rolls of skin piled on top of each other. it was sooo bloody!! and pretty disgusting but it was something i won't want to miss for anything else!

the worst thing was that they used scalpels and were practically poking underneath her skin to break through the tissue to get to her nose. and in the end i saw all the surgeons stitching up her scalp together. its so amazing how there are so many layers in our head :)

it's def. a moment of a lifetime :)) and i got to wear scrubs! yay*

*feebs-

-i hate hate hate migraines*

2007-09-11T17:44:00.000+10:00

the worst pain you could ever feel is a bad migraine.
i hate them, ergh! and genetics too.. =(*
it took me 45 mins to get to sgh cos of the jam, took me another 15 mins to find a parking space, arrived at 8, went in, and got an attack at 9. so i had to come straight home cos
the pain was like throbbing in my head and the stupid sparks were blocking my whole view i couldn't see. i couldnt even drive home properly that i almost knocked a motorcyclist.

can someone make me feel better? like drown myself in chocolates and sweets? oh wait! i can't...
it triggers my migraine..

I finally picked up the book abt migraines that my uncle got for me from australia and these are the things I CANNOT eat:

Tea, coffee and caffeinated drinks such as coca-cola
Alcohol
Chocolate, ESPECIALLY dark chocolate
Peanuts
Processed and smoked meats like bacon, salami, pepperoni, chipolatas
Citrus fruits, e.g, oranges, grapefruit, fruit juices
Bananas
Onions
Smoked fish
Dairy products like milk, yoghurt and cheese
Dates and raisins
Wheat products like bread, cereal and pasta
Plums and raspberries

and processed food of any sort

and theres MORE but im listing down the basic things we eat everyday which i can't.

so i asked my friends, what can i NOT eat is more than what i CAN eat.

but yesterday was fine and i learned so many things! =( i learnt about teeth impressions, teeth extraction, implantation and crowning! :)) i even got to stand there and watch them go into surgery that they covered every part of your face except your teeth :) its so cool :)

ok, i'm going back to sleep; i feel like a zombie.
migraine screws up your whole day, seriously.

-feebs*

.:let me forget*

2007-09-10T23:12:00.000+10:00

he said
it was the things for what she's done and acted in the past
that have made the way things are now.
he said
that he had given her the chance to make things better;
to turn things around before time runs dry.

and all i want to say is,
that i can't turn back time for what i've done,
for what i've not realized.
all i want to say,
is not to charge me guilty
because i'm not the only one that could've made things better.
it's back to you.

but i'm sorry because
i didn't mean to take you for granted
i never wanted to make u feel bounded
i don't want you to be unhappy anymore
i don't want you to feel like life's a burden when i'm around
so now you get to taste the freedom that you've been longing for to let this go

so i smile, and hope for a better tomorrow.

it's not your fault.

-wave* and goodbye kisses-

2007-09-09T22:07:00.000+10:00

before you know it, u finish high school, then next to pre-u, and with another blink, we're all off to unis. everyone's leaving already this week! :((

on wed, em's leaving to the uk doing psych, kim's leaving to nottingham to do pharmacy, and
sammie's gonna go off to ireland to do medicine :) and andrio is going off to china and then to the uk to do architecture on tue!

well smartass bimbo no.1 sammie, ill always rmbr ure phrase of 'short frequent spurts', 'stupid cow', 'my thighs look so huge'; all of which are NOT true and u know it :) AND, you're the one tht will go breaking british guys' hearts :)

kimmie, you'll be the ruler of the nottingham campus la 'i tell u', and i'll always remember your high pitched laugh :)) haha i miss it already.. but it still rings in my head whenever i think of you.

ems, i hope that when u go over to the uk u'll finally start finishing the food on your plate :) ill always rmbr ure blurness like me and your deep passion for God :) go bimboes!

andrio!! uve always been the sweet, soft guy that i know that lives just 1 min away and u'd always cycle to my house whenever i need a favour and my favour's being returned by being chased by my dogs.. haha :) im so deeply sorry abt tht!! :)) all the best with u and shaz :) keep strong* and go long!

im so proud of all of u :) u guys have made it this far and though they've been so much complications along the way, u guys still pulled through! rmbr we still hv to meet in 11 yrs time!

hmm rmbr to update, yeah? :) do leave us aussie-undergrads-to-be (me, ho, joey and dawn) behind who will still be bumming around till nxt yr!

im tearing up already* sigh- loveuguys

*feebs*-

gaah

2007-09-08T15:08:00.000+10:00

i drowned myself with 2 movies in a row last nite..
and they're both good*

and...

michelle pfeiffer is still as pretty and gorgeous as ever :)

it's about her falling for a younger man and how she deals with herself and with other people

judging about her being old.
go watch it!

.:not my cup of tea*

2007-09-07T00:02:00.000+10:00

so, todaie i decided to update some of the stuff that i've been working on in the interior design firm for abt a month, a month ago :))

p.s. sorry drey, for waiting so long for them! finally got it all done yesterday so here it is..
here's some of the pics done from a mt. kiara apartment in kl:

btw, i didn't draw the basic outline of the drawings. those pics were drawn by professionals =x i did everything else other than that.. =)

these were the other photographs i took to add it all into the portfolio:

so, what do u think? *=)

other than that, im having such a tough time with maths! its killing me... ERGH
i fell asleep for two hours after the first page eventhough i'd already slept 10 hrs the night before!

maths really isn't my cup of tea.

my mum says i got the wrong genes cos apparently, my mum and my dad are GENIUSES with maths but their kids ended up being DUMBOs.

now, tell me how that happened?

genes work in funny ways.. hmmph*
i need my MATHS EXPERT JOSH!

other than tht, today i catched up on the tv series heroes and desperate housewives.. i know i know, im a bit slow :))

okay, im gonna indulge in big bowl of guavas now :))
nites*

~to josh, drey and olivia*-

2007-09-04T00:57:00.000+10:00

the past week has been one of the hardest rollercoaster rides of my life recently;
not only have i not realized my full potential, but i keep thinking of what i could've done to make things better.
they're tons and tons of ideas and reasons filling up my small lil head telling me that it's my fault and i could've changed the way things are now.

they've been sleepless nights, constant hours of breaking down and breaking out my emotions; times where i feel so useless in life and times where there's nothing to look forward to..

i guess i still feel this way at present but things have been much easier with great support from my closest, dearest friends who've been there for me from the very beginning since high school- josh, drey and olivia; they've given so much support and i feel so blessed to have such special people in my life. they've given me the utmost comfort, hope and faith to look forward to the future and to also tell me that it's normal to make me feel this way cos im in love :))

-*drey & josh*-

-*ts and april*-

and so, thanks so much guys, for always being there for me from the very beginning. you've brought me here to this day which i never could have done it alone without all of u. loveuguys*

and, speaking of the future, i finally got a scholarship offer from a university that i applied to after 2.5 weeks- monash u! still pretty shocked actually.
now, at least i have something to hang on and hope for atm. :))

okay, nights for now--
xoxo

*feebs-

-padde's bringing sexy back-

2007-09-02T15:37:00.000+10:00

padde! :) i miss u! we all miss u :)) havent seen u in agesss
u better come in dec :))

and please remember to smile more often?
we'll definitely have a class reunion one day! :))

btw, now u look like u have a bump on ure forehead* =D

*feebs-`

*a hilarious 15 seconds

2007-09-01T15:10:00.000+10:00

chris was saying, "you know how in kl and sg you see squirrels climbing up trees?"
and i said, "uh-huh (what are you trying to get at?)"

then he said, "well in kuching you see RATS climbing up trees"

haha. that was a funny moment
chris, u made my day :)) muah*

-stranded-

2007-09-01T00:24:00.000+10:00

he walks out the door
leaving u stranded amongst a million other strangers
he puts down the phone
shutting your emotions out till he can't hear your words anymore

how am i to forget the things
that mattered most to me
and to tear it apart because that's what you've done
how do i forget?
how do i start to pick up my own footsteps that you left behind
and move on?

there's so much i can't say, can't do,
cos it hurts when i think about the past
u win, u have already won all of me
are u happy?

now u can live on life
like nothing happened
without a soul left to wonder where i am; what i'm feeling
and in the end
all you can do is watch and just say sorry.

so turn off the lights
and leave me alone.

.:singapore!:.

2007-08-27T16:09:00.000+10:00

so so so, on wed (22.08.07) we headed off to sg via jb till sunday (26.08.07) night..

the trip was eventful and tiring but we had a blast.. esp. it was nice to have a whole family gathering kinda thing :)) first experience in my whole life.

anyhoo, here's some pics of the food we saw, and then ate! we couldn't resist. we (my bro and i) were practically eating every 2 hours whenever we walked pass a food stall or sth.

these are japanese seafood on a stick! they look yummy* :)) didn't try it though :((

and after eating this, i don't ever wanna touch cheese again. everything was seriously drowning in CHEESE!

food, food and MORE food:

carrying on.. i found some of the cutest things on earth! :))

they're called BONKERS:

... and i can definitely see why.

btw, jho looks like the fourth one from the left on the 1st picture... >.<

ho looks like the green one on the second picture =\

sammie's the fifth orange bonker on the second row in the first picture.. xD

and kim's the fourth yellow bonker on the second row in the second picture.. \=x

with my mum crazy over gadgets, she bought an idog. with the costume of spiderman on it:

looks rather intimidating, and scary actually..

***now, meet the lil' losers...

by david & goliath.

jho, sammie and ho, u guys will fall in lurve with them*

aren't they just adorable? they're many more like mr. masturbate, miss. anorexic, etc which i cant seem to find them online, so go check it out guys :)

meanwhile,my brother was like playing with the optimus prime helmet like 3/4 of the time since he got it :)

so all in all, sg was great :)) we should do it again*!

*cheers*

.+*feebs*+.

-.:on the other side:.-

2007-08-27T13:53:00.000+10:00

your truth is all i need,
that sustains me from falling.

cos love's always never enough,
but when it fades,
learn to let it go,
and move on.

rmbr, the sun's still shining*
i l u`

.+*feebs*+.

-touchdown`-

2007-08-27T00:38:00.000+10:00

finally back from sg!
it was a great trip with the whole family :)
i'll post up pics soon*
got much to tell u guys :))
muah*

... zzz

-.:i need my calling:.-

2007-08-20T22:30:00.000+10:00

boo* :) hi everyone! this is my first official blog where i actually write daily stuff.. thanks for much persuasion from sammie :) anyways, thanks jho, for making this blog a success! i could never have done it without u.. i would have already given up seriously. picking blog skins are tiring enough.

anyways, just got back from kl and i didn't get to bum around (which i would love to do and not worry about anything else) and just sleep. sometimes i wish everything was all planned out and smooth sailing, but it's never the case. been so busy flipping prospectuses all over the house, highlighting the courses i COULD do instead of WANT to do. so much pressure from parents, grandparents even and last of all, myself. i don't even have the time to think of what i want to do due to my indecisiveness. seriously, by the time i've decided on the course, i think all uni applications will be closed by then already. so, now im trying to ask myself and God for his calling of what i'm best suited for; He knows me better than i know myself. i hope it's not too late.

*wish me luck!
-*next stop: singapore!

.+*feebs*+.

.+*the baby blues*